Story by Blake Sandlin, Sports Editor
Even one year after a school shooting terrorized Marshall County High School, the wounds that were created on that fateful January day still remain open.
This reality is especially true for members of Marshall County’s Class of 2020. When alleged gunman Gabriel Parker created irreparable carnage in the hallways of his high school on Jan. 23, 2018, two sophomore students, Bailey Holt and Preston Cope, were killed and 18 others were injured.
For two students who spoke to The News last year following the shooting, Knox Sandlin and Kaden Chiles, the one-year mark of the tragedy sparked memories they’ve been longing to forget. Though the pain of the tragedy devastated the entire community, Sandlin said it shook his sophomore class to its core.
Photo courtesy of Kaden Chiles
Photo courtesy of Knox Sandlin
“It absolutely was a ‘Class of 2020’ tragedy,” Sandlin said. “Of the 20 or so that were shot, the majority of them were in my grade. I don’t really take it as he was targeting us, and not to say other grades don’t understand or feel something for the tragedy, but we lost three of our classmates, two of the sweetest people I want to model my life after.”
Marshall County students were forced to confront the gamut of emotions after the shooting. For Sandlin, the feelings surrounding the event evolved from shock, to sadness, to anger that still persists to this day.
“When it first happened, I was in complete shock and when I heard who, my jaw actually dropped,” Sandlin said. “Those are both cliches, but it for real actually happened. I felt really no emotion. lt wouldn’t sink in, but as soon as I got home that night, I was devastated. It sorta moved from sadness to anger in the days after, and that’s how it remains now, solely from the fact that I knew Gabe [Parker]; we had like three classes together. I knew he was kind of not socially popular, so I was always like, ‘What’s up, Gabe?’, and made a little handshake and stuff like that.”
Sandlin, who was friends with Cope, has struggled with the loss. All the more challenging, though, has been finding the appropriate outlet to address and cope with his emotions. Because the shooting impacted his class so directly, Sandlin said he feels like outsiders, even those in other grade levels, can’t truly empathize with him.
“I don’t hate discussing it, but feelings-wise I don’t like to dwell on it with others because I’m so conflicted,” Sandlin said. “But no matter how much I try to talk about my feelings or whatever with another who feels the same, I’m still left with an emptiness and pain that leaves me so low. I think the majority of people feel the same way that knew Bailey and Preston, but people cope in their own way, which is fine, but it’s difficult to be around the people who aren’t affected or are trying to cope through jokes and insensitivity because I don’t want their memories to be besmirched.”
Therapy dogs, donations and national outreach that came in the wake of the shooting served a valuable purpose, but for Sandlin, the well-intended gestures don’t provide the answers to the questions he’s been asking and don’t ease the anger he’s been feeling.
“I have so much anger toward him, but I can’t express it, so it kind of just remains,” Sandlin said. “Anger for the act, but also that Preston had to be a victim to that; straight up the least deserving. I promise you he was as perfect as you could get, and for that to happen to him is actually what’s depressing.”
Chiles has taken a different approach to coping with the shooting. The Marshall County junior is now a year removed from watching from mere feet away as Parker opened fire in the crowded Commons Area of the school, and while he hasn’t completely healed, he’s committed to not letting the events of that day define him.
“I think about it sometimes, but not often,” Chiles said. “It doesn’t define me; it’s in my past now. It didn’t take me long to understand and learn from it. It definitely is a serious part of my life, but I do not make it the only part of my life. I sincerely miss the time before it happened and wish it wouldn’t have happened, but also 2018 as a whole was a great year for me. I am not going to allow Gabe Parker to interfere with my life at all. That would let him win. Marshall County is stronger than that.”
After speaking with Cope and Holt’s parents, Marshall County High School administrators decided to reserve the one-year mark to commemorate the lives of their fallen classmates. Both Chiles and Sandlin said they didn’t plan to attend school that day.
“You hear people talk in the halls and you just can’t help but get angry sometimes,” Sandlin said. “That’s the main reason why I just can’t go to school the 23rd, because I know people will be more sensitive, but there will also be a few that don’t take it as serious as it is to me, and I just don’t want to be around that.”
While each student experienced different versions of that calamitous morning, and each is choosing to cope with it differently, they’re unified in their efforts to move on from the past and establish a new normal.
“I just want to ensure that it isn’t the only thing that defines us,” Chiles said. “Marshall County is a great place to be raised, and I don’t feel unsafe ever at the school or within the county.”