Super Bowls of food

Mallory Tucker

This Sunday is one of my favorite days of the year. Filled with football, friends and food, Super Bowl Sunday is the summation of all my favorite things in life.

This sacred day requires minimal effort and maximum leisure. It’s the epitome of a perfect Sunday.

The only effort, in fact, that I plan on putting forth this Sunday is preparing food for the party I’ll be attending. That and putting pants on – which often times proves to be more difficult than cooking.

There is a certain coordination that must occur before the party. You know, where everyone scrambles to decide what they’re bringing – to make sure they have enough of this and no duplicates of that. Planning is difficult, but to remain true to the lethargy of the holiday, the snacks themselves must remain simple.

There’s chips and queso – a must for all Super Bowl parties. And you have to have Doritos, which have become synonymous with the Super Bowl thanks to their advertisements. (Super Bowl ads, by the way, cost $4.5 million per 30 seconds.) Pizza, chicken wings and buffalo chicken dip are all staples, as are pigs in a blanket. Pretzels and beer cheese pop up frequently, too. Actually, anything with beer in it. And just beer. Lots of beer. And any snack wrapped in bacon. The more I think about it, the more I love this holiday.

Fun and food are both group efforts during the Super Bowl, so don’t be that jerk that shows up empty-handed. (Also don’t be that jerk that shows up with a vegetable tray. This is the Super Bowl, not a book club.) If your mouth is watering but you’re no expert in the kitchen, don’t worry. My skillset is not limited to sitting behind a computer in a pressbox, but expands to mediocrity in the kitchen as well. Since dips are the classic go-to, here are a couple simple recipes that anyone can pull off and share on the most wonderful day of the year.



16 ounces Velveeta Mexican Mild Cheese, cubed

10-ounce can Ro*Tel diced tomatoes and green chiles

1/2 cup black beans, rinsed and drained

1/2 cup frozen corn

1/4 cup diced green onion (if you’re feeling fancy)


Microwave Velveeta, Ro*Tel, beans and corn on high for three minutes. Remove, stir and microwave two more minutes on high. Stir again, and top with green onions if you’re fancy. Omit this step if you’re lazy. Actually just omit this step. Serve with tortilla chips.



Two 8-ounce packages cream cheese, softened

1/3 – 1/2 cup beer. Probably

Natural Light. Be honest.

One 1 oz packet dry ranch

dressing mix

1 and 1/2 cups shredded cheddar cheese


Mix cream cheese, beer and ranch powder until smooth. Drink remaining beer. Spread mixture evenly over a plate or platter and top with shredded cheese. Serve with pretzels and cry silently if you’re a Packers fan.

Get in the kitchen and do your part, and feel free to hit that Easy Button after. I hope everyone has a safe and gluttonous Super Bowl. I know I will.