Helpful Halloween tips

Peter Northcut

If you didn’t know already, America’s favorite candy worshiping holiday is today. That’s right, it is Halloween.

This is the magical time of year when, if only for one night, little boys can be knights in shining armor, little girls can be princesses and teenagers can put poop on people’s porches and light it on fire. It truly is a special day.

But like so many others this Halloween, I have been so caught up with school that I forgot to get a costume.

While I was tempted to just follow the crowd and go with something generic like a ghost or a slutty Ebola virus, instead I compiled this list of possible Murray State themed costumes that are sure to impress. Feel free to use any of these ideas. Or don’t. I don’t care.

IDEA #1

Cam Payne: This one is a no brainer. Just throw on a Racers jersey and a headband. To add to the effect, carry around a basketball everywhere you go like you’re in High School Musical.

IDEA #2

Volleyball player: With the Murray State volleyball team on a seven-game win streak, everyone will think you are the coolest. Fellas, this is the chance you’ve been waiting for to show off those hilarious skin-tight shorts you stole from your sister.

IDEA #3

The Shoe Tree: This costume requires some dedication to the part. Drape a bunch of dirty, old shoes over you and go around proposing to random people. Try your best to be both repulsive and romantic at the same time.

IDEA #4

Pogue Library: Sit in the corner of the party and read a book the entire time. Make sure no one knows you are there.

IDEA #5

Finals week student: Walk around the party with a book in one hand and a coffee in the other, shouting, “I’m gonna lose my freakin’ mind!”

IDEA #6

Statue of Rainey T. Wells: This is the costume that I will more than likely go with. To be former President Wells, you just stand in the middle of the party super awkwardly and don’t say a word. When people try to talk to you, act like they don’t exist.

IDEA #7

Clark and Richmond College: Look up the Monopoly guy and copy his look.

IDEA #8

Regents and White College: Dress up like Andre 3000. Get it? “Outkast.” Eh, whatever.

IDEA #9

The Murray weather: Mix and match your warm and cold clothing. Act irrationally all night and display extreme mood swings.

IDEA #10

The IT Building: (I think we all know where this is going.) A couple of basketballs and a country accent is all you need to pull off this costume.

Well, that’s all I’ve got. If you don’t like any of those ideas, just go as yourself or something stupid like that. OK, go have lots of fun and eat candy until your blood turns to sugar.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go stare at Rainey T. Wells for inspiration. Enjoy your Halloween, everyone, before we all have to put on our finals week costumes at the end of the semester.

Column by Peter Northcutt, Staff writer