The Curris Center Theater was filled with students and faculty eager to learn about the female orgasm Tuesday night.
Sex experts and couple Dorian Solot and Marshall Miller educated students at the event about female orgasms, ejaculation, masturbation, the G spot, sexual pleasure and much more. But it wasn’t the typical “birds and bees” sex talk. Solot and Miller told stories about their sex lives and approached these otherwise awkward topics with humor.
Abigail French, director of the Murray State Women’s Center, said she was eager to bring the couple to Murray because of all the high praise they received from other universities.
Solot and Miller are part of an organization called “Sex Discussed Here.” They offer many sex education presentations, from which schools can choose. One of them is called “The Female O,” which focuses on women’s sexuality and participation in sexual activity, French said.
“It’s sort of that conversation, those things your mom never talked to you about,” French said. “It’s answering those questions that college women have never felt comfortable asking anyone or debunking some of those myths about women and sex.”
The purpose of the event was to create a place for students to feel comfortable talking about sex and asking questions they may be too embarrassed to ask otherwise, French said.
She wanted students, women especially, to learn about sexual boundaries and gain respect for themselves, their partner and their bodies.
“It’s really trying to teach women to take ownership of their own sexuality and give them a place to ask questions like, ‘What do I need for myself’ and ‘What do I want’ as well as a convo with men about what it means to be respectful of those boundaries,” French said.
The evening began with a discussion on masturbation. Solot prefaced the discussion by saying, “Most speakers would ask you to turn your phones off completely, but we just ask that you set them to vibrate,” to break the ice.
Solot and Miller said masturbation is a healthy and natural act that all teenagers and adults take part in. Some people discover masturbation and orgasms at an age as young as 8 years old. Others don’t experience it until their mid-20s. Either way, everyone does it, and there is nothing wrong with that, Miller said.
The couple also discussed how to have an orgasm. What does it take to reach a climax?
“It is much more difficult for a woman to have an orgasm than a man,” Miller said. “It takes about 20 minutes for a woman to get aroused and only about two to five minutes for a man.”
That leads to several potential problems when having intercourse or trying to orgasm with a partner. When a couple is ready to take that step, Solot and Miller said comfortability with one’s body, comfortability with his/her partner’s body and communication with his/her partner are the most important factors to an orgasm.
“It’s important to know what feels good for you and what feels good for your partner so you can experiment with different things,” Solot said. “Vibrators, porn and mental stimulation are all completely OK when having sex and trying to reach an orgasm.”
Solot said many women are uncomfortable with their vulvas and vaginas because they have never seen another one. Therefore, they often believe that there is something wrong with their own. That can play a part in having an orgasm because if one isn’t comfortable with her own body, she can’t relax and experience a climax.
“If your vajajay has personality and character, that’s OK,” Solot said. “Diversity of genitals is totally normal.”
The female body is complex, especially for men, Miller said, but given these tools and tips, women can learn how to orgasm and, if they haven’t already, “find the promise land.”
As they concluded the show, Solot and Miller held hands and said, “Wishing good health, lots of love and plenty of orgasms.”
Story by Madison Wepfer, Staff writer