In the past month it seems as if more and more people are commenting on my television habits and talking to me about television.
At first I took this as a compliment. “Hey, people are reading my column! People value my opinion!” I said to myself in a cheesy pilot voiceover style. Then I focused on what exactly they said and was slightly less excited.
“You watch a lot of TV,” the first person said.
This is true, I suppose. My television does get a lot of play, even if it’s background noise as I bake cupcakes or do dishes.
“I’m not into anything as much as you’re into TV,” the next person said. (That was Anna Taylor, the assistant features editor.)
That sounds more like her problem than mine, right? The statement means she’s just incapable of getting into things and I’m totally and completely normal for the level of devotion I put into television … right?
“You watch an alarming amount of television,” the third person told me.
Alarming is a strong word, especially in regard to the amount of television I find myself watching.
The way I see it, television is kind of like food. People have different tastes. One person’s favorite food might cause another person to literally break out in hives. (This is how I am with “Whitney,” I think.) Some foods take longer to prepare than others. They contain more ingredients and require more effort than the generic frozen dinners.
And, when it comes to food, no one wants to hear about how much he or she consumes.
They may talk about it, sure – “Man, I ate, like, an entire large pizza last night.” That’s bragging. That’s inviting the world to congratulate you on your gluttony while internally worrying about your physical health.
It’s a completely different conversation when someone else brings it up, though. “Are you having another slice? Didn’t you already eat four? Isn’t that a bit excessive?” That’s awkward. That’s judgmental.
This column is my bragging area. This is my large pizza with half of a chocolate cake. Essentially that means that the amount of television I discuss here is not necessarily how much television I watch each day. It’s a once-in-a-while thing.
(For the health professionals out there, don’t worry: this is all a metaphor. I’ve never eaten an entire large pizza and would never attempt it.)
Dan Harmon (creator of “Community”) recently did an interview with Digital Spy. When discussing television habits he said how most people are just looking for something to casually watch.
“There’s only a very small percentage of the population that has so much free energy in their brain that they’re actively seeking out a television show that you’re supposed to taste as if it’s a gourmet meal,” he said. “Most people are just hungry.”
I’m in that small percentage. I don’t watch a lot of television, I just know a lot about some really amazing shows and devote my energy to that. It’s why I?made “Community”?cupcakes for my birthday. (It all comes back to food.)