Illegal Man Downfield – Hello, Murray State Sports Fans

Hi, my name is Dylan Stinson and I’m officially the new Assistant Sports Editor here at The Murray State News.
I’m honored and excited to have been given this position and I hope you won’t stop reading the sports section because of me. I would like to take some time and help you as our faithful readers get to know me and persuade you to read what I write. I’ve compiled a few reasons why you should read my column and a few random facts about myself.
1. I’m a genius. It’s true. When it comes to sports, there is simply no one smarter than I am.  When reading my articles just remember, you’re reading from a guy who knows his stuff.  I know the ins and outs of sports like it’s the back of my hand.  I played sports in high school; therefore, I know everything there is to know about everything.
2. I’m an idiot. I have absolutely no idea what I’m talking about most of the time which, I realize, probably doesn’t sound good, but I can guarantee you that I will do my best to sound like I know what I’m talking about. Don’t believe me? Just read the paragraph above this one. Cut me some slack though, I think I have schizophrenia.
3. I speak for the unspoken mind. I say what everyone is thinking but is too scared to say and it’s published! I would like to ask that you please not get offended by the things I write, actually, you can get offended. Just don’t send me emails, or if you must send an email send it to our opinion editor, he would love to read them!
4. I have trouble taking things seriously. This has been a huge problem for me my entire life, however, I feel like this is a strong point of mine when it comes to sports writing. Most journalists in sports media are way too serious. I’m not. So, you can look to my work for some comic relief or if you’re having a bad day and need to make fun of someone feel free to pick up my column, look at my ugly mug and laugh.
5. I really enjoy writing. On a more serious note, writing is a huge passion of mine and so are sports. So you can imagine how much I truly enjoy this new job of mine.
6. I’m not biased. I really don’t have favorite teams, so when you’re reading my column you’re going to get an outsider’s view on everything.  However, there is one exception; the Texas Longhorns are the best at everything, end of discussion, I will not debate this.
7. I’m a firm believer in the SEC. I don’t think I need to say much more. Are there really any other conferences out there?
8. Football is my favorite sport. It was a bit of a culture shock for me when I came to Kentucky and everyone around was gung-ho over basketball. I never really watched basketball growing up, because in Tennessee it’s all about the Titans and University of Tennessee football. However, I’ve grown to love college basketball after going to a few Murray State games.
9. Mixed Martial Arts is my favorite sport to watch. I can’t get enough of it to be honest. I love watching two grown men fight. I believe we as men were designed to love fights. Be expecting many topics discussing Ultimate Fighting Championship news, rumors, gossip and facts.
10. I don’t know anything about soccer. I’m pretty much as American as it gets. I’m reaching out to people to try and learn more about the world’s most popular sport, but right now I just don’t get it.
11. I hate the New York Yankees. Everything from their hideous uniforms to Alex Rodriguez makes me hate them more and more with each passing day. I believe my hatred started when they beat the braves for the 1996 World Series. I was six years old, heart broken and depressed.
12. I wear a Chicago Cubs hat, but I don’t like the Cubs, I just like the way the hat looks. Yeah I’m one of those guys. Don’t you hate us?
13. I think Chipper Jones is the greatest baseball player to ever live.
14. I have an addiction to Nutella. This has absolutely nothing to do with sports or why you should read my article, but I am elbow deep into a jar right now and it’s so good.
15. If I could be an athlete for a day it would be Mike Tyson. What goes on in that guy’s head?
16. I like to argue. I think this is why I like discussing topics that are controversial, I just really enjoy arguing. Sometimes I take the side I don’t even agree with just to argue. Isn’t that sick?
17. I am a world class ping-pong player. I’ve been to 13 different countries around the world to participate in ping-pong tournaments. I started playing when I was 11 and turned pro when I was 17. Unfortunately, my ping-pong career came to an end when I went on a family vacation to Gainseville, Fla., and my hand was bitten off by an alligator while my uncle and I were fly-fishing in a swamp. It took awhile to get used to, but I am starting to get the hang of typing with one hand.
18. I’m a compulsive liar.
So there you have it, 18 awesome reasons why you should read my column and be my friend. Why 18 and not 20? I don’t know. I don’t feel like telling you anything else. You’ll just have to read my column if you want to find out more.

Contact Stinson